My 12 Yr Old Wants A Date With His Mother???

Something I started with my son, Taylor, right after my divorce was a tradition of a date night. Every week there was a night set aside just for me and him, where he got to pick out a restaurant and an activity. I started this when he was 4 and he is now 12 and still looks forward to these nights. I know ... it's hard to believe that a 12 year old still wants to hang out with his mom but it's true. Over the past year or so, I have pulled back on the date nights because he has taken more interested in his friends and less interest in his mom.

Three nights ago I took Taylor out to Burger King (not the most extravagant eating establishment) after his lacrosse practice and it was just the two of us and then we went back to the house and he picked out a movie he wanted to watch (Back to the Future 3 ~ we've been working our way through he trilogy). We just hung out, joked around and had a lot of fun. Last night before he went to bed he came up to me and asked, "Can we do that date night again like we did the other night with Burger King and the movie. That was a lot of fun. Maybe once a week or every other week." Wow. Most 12 year old's want nothing to do with their parents, I must have done something right.

I started the date night tradition right after my divorce to make sure that Taylor had security still in his life. He had this special time set aside just for him that he knew no matter what was always going to be there. He knew that he was a priority and that his mom wanted to be with him, spend time with him and do what he wanted to do. During those nights we would mostly just hang out and have fun but I also took the opportunity to talk with him about things that were going on at school or feelings he was dealing with regarding certain things with his dad. Using this time for this always worked better because it was partnered with an activity and he felt less pressured and put on the spot to talk. These date nights ended up being something that meant a lot to the both of us and I firmly believe they played a key role in him coping with the divorce in a healthy way.

Date nights don't always have to be expensive either. Once I quit my "real" job in the corporate world and started my own business my money was extremely tight. Date night transformed into cooking a special dinner together at home and having Wii tournaments or renting a movie and popping popcorn. What I learned was that the activity wasn't the important thing to Taylor it was the fact that the time was set aside for him and that he was a priority.

Laura Miller
Proud Mom of Taylor
Chief Marketing Officer/Co-Founder