My 12 Yr Old Wants A Date With His Mother???

Something I started with my son, Taylor, right after my divorce was a tradition of a date night. Every week there was a night set aside just for me and him, where he got to pick out a restaurant and an activity. I started this when he was 4 and he is now 12 and still looks forward to these nights. I know ... it's hard to believe that a 12 year old still wants to hang out with his mom but it's true. Over the past year or so, I have pulled back on the date nights because he has taken more interested in his friends and less interest in his mom.

Three nights ago I took Taylor out to Burger King (not the most extravagant eating establishment) after his lacrosse practice and it was just the two of us and then we went back to the house and he picked out a movie he wanted to watch (Back to the Future 3 ~ we've been working our way through he trilogy). We just hung out, joked around and had a lot of fun. Last night before he went to bed he came up to me and asked, "Can we do that date night again like we did the other night with Burger King and the movie. That was a lot of fun. Maybe once a week or every other week." Wow. Most 12 year old's want nothing to do with their parents, I must have done something right.

I started the date night tradition right after my divorce to make sure that Taylor had security still in his life. He had this special time set aside just for him that he knew no matter what was always going to be there. He knew that he was a priority and that his mom wanted to be with him, spend time with him and do what he wanted to do. During those nights we would mostly just hang out and have fun but I also took the opportunity to talk with him about things that were going on at school or feelings he was dealing with regarding certain things with his dad. Using this time for this always worked better because it was partnered with an activity and he felt less pressured and put on the spot to talk. These date nights ended up being something that meant a lot to the both of us and I firmly believe they played a key role in him coping with the divorce in a healthy way.

Date nights don't always have to be expensive either. Once I quit my "real" job in the corporate world and started my own business my money was extremely tight. Date night transformed into cooking a special dinner together at home and having Wii tournaments or renting a movie and popping popcorn. What I learned was that the activity wasn't the important thing to Taylor it was the fact that the time was set aside for him and that he was a priority.

Laura Miller
Proud Mom of Taylor
Chief Marketing Officer/Co-Founder

Camp, Developing Bodies, Hygiene and Other Sensitive Subjects!

As parents are starting to think about kids going off to camp, I am sure you are thinking about all kinds of things day camp or overnight, sports camp or academic, close by or different locale. There are so many variables to consider and decisions to make. In briefly perusing the internet, I saw pages of camp information and Tips for Parents. In doing so, however, I actually didn't find any information on the topic from my point of view, so here goes -

An overlooked aspect of going to camp is preparation for kids who have some signs of having started puberty but haven't yet reached these milestones - the first period for girls and first nocturnal emission for boys. By preparation, I mean, if the child has any breast development, hair in the pubic area or underarms, voice changes, rapid growth spurt or are potentially close to starting a period or having spontaneous erections and/or nocturnal emissions, they at least need to know about and be prepared for these events in case they occur. All girls and boys also need to have specific information about hygiene related to periods and nocturnal emissions and reminders about general hygiene as well.

Periods for girls: Girls should have appropriate supplies, know how to use and dispose of them, and feel comfortable knowing who to talk with if a period begins - and be specific (not just an adult). Ask the camp directors about the procedure they have in place to deal with this issue.

Nocturnal emissions for boys: Boys just need to know it might happen, it's no big deal if it does or doesn't, wash up (soiled articles in the laundry), and it's personal and private.

General Hygiene: We all know, it?s hard enough to get tweens (especially boys) to have good hygiene, but at camp where there aren't constant reminders, it can be "phew"! Don't overlook checking out or at least asking about the accommodations for showering, etc. at the facility. Are bathing and dressing facilities private? If kids are expected to dress, undress, shower, etc. in communal facilities, how will your child react to that? Help them learn ahead of time how to cope with that environment. Stories from camp range from not showering at all to wearing the same underwear (evening showing in the underwear) because of embarrassment. Be proactive in making sure your child is prepared for this group environment. Many kids who already have experience on swim teams or other sports have no problem being nude that can be a blessing when they are a young adolescent and a burden later.check out my next blog!

Another important reminder is to go over the definitions of sexual harassment, sexual assault, bullying and how to stand up for yourself. Two blogs away I will be discussing those topics again, another good review before going off to camp!

Mary HalterPresident/CEOHEALTHY edudynamicsMary H. Halter has worked in the field of youth development for over 25 years. She developed A Time To Talk curriculum with both a school and parent component. Her straight forward, no-nonsense approach is refreshing and informative. You can learn more about Mary by visiting http://healthyedudynamics.com.

Off and Running with 2.3

For those in IT, no this isn't an upgrade I strategically made to 2.0 language. My family is 2.3. We don't have a white picket fence but we live in an area where there are lots of them! I've decided I figured out how it was determined the average family has 2.3 children. Oh you statistic people will tell me it was some great algorithm that was used to determine the number. But every wife out there KNOWS where the .3 came from their husbands.

You're either married to the .3 or perhaps he's your significant other. He provides, he fixes, he goes to work. He's a man. An adult. And then you brought kids into your lives - yours, his, ours, or theirs. And suddenly you've found the .3. He watches cartoons with them and plays things you have neither the time or energy to even contemplate and he gets right down to their level.

Our daughter is the sunflower of our life. Her attitude oftentimes shows a great resemblance to someone I used to look at in the mirror. Utterly scary! And our son is our future little engineer. He wants to know how things are made and then takes them apart to see if can put them back together. And .3 is all mine. He's the entire reason I had kids.I've been told our life would make a great blog. Let's see. We?re always running here or there and funny mishaps abound along the way. If your life isn?t funny enough, sit back and laugh at mine.

Heidi Snow

Community Relations Manager

Kidslinked.com

My 12 Year Old Has A Mustache

Seriously ... what are they putting in the food these days?? My 12 year old son is now taller than me (okay, I'm only 5'3") and is sporting a serious mustache. There's a common myth that the hormones they use in meats to make animals grow faster is the cause of our children developing faster and earlier. But is there any truth to this?

Well I have done my research and found a couple of studies that believe that the hormones being used in meats are the cause of children moving into puberty earlier and also the cause of breast cancer. Check out this article I found published on GoVeg.com

"Cows raised for milk and flesh are injected with powerful hormones to make them grow larger and produce more milk than they ever would naturally. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, by 1999, roughly 99 percent of cows on large feedlots in the U.S. were given synthetic hormonal implants.58 These hormones, some of which are used illegally by athletes, are prohibited for over-the-counter use by humans in the United States, but the FDA refuses to adequately regulate their use to promote growth in cows, meaning that when you eat meat and drink milk, you are consuming unsafe drugs that weren?t prescribed to you.59 Consuming extra hormones disturbs the natural hormonal balance in the body, and eating animal products laced with hormones can have serious consequences for both children and adults." to read more go to http://www.goveg.com/contamination_hormones.asp

After reading all this its makes a lot of sense to me. My son, Taylor, drinks probably 1/2 to 2/3 of a gallon of milk a day. He has since he was old enough to drink milk. The sad thing is if there is any truth in what these articles say, we are giving mixed signals to our children and to parents. How are we helping our kids by giving them milk or meats that have hormones injected into them that may end up harming them in the end with cancer. What is the answer?? Apparently the answer is organic meats. Here is an article I found on the benefits of eating organic.

"There has been a lot of controversy lately regarding the numerous unnatural ingredients and resources used in the production of our food. Many people are skeptical and even scared when they hear that their meal has any association with pesticides, antibiotics, and growth hormones. As a consequence, many people have turned to organic food. Organics are in general better for you because they are produced without the use of most conventional pesticides, such as: synthetic fertilizers, sewage sludge fertilizers, bioengineering, and radiation. Furthermore, organic meat, poultry, eggs, and dairy products come from animals that are given no antibiotics and growth hormones." to read more of this article http://www.articlesbase.com/nutrition-articles/what-are-the-benefits-of-buying-organic-food-477848.html

Belive me, I'm not an advocate of eating organic or a hardcore vegetarian and personally I do not eat organic or free range ... yet. But honestly, after writing this blog and doing some research I might seriously reconsider which meats I buy and what I feed to Taylor from now on. If I would have known these things earlier I may have a mustacheless kid.

Laura Miller

Proud Mom of Taylor

Chief Marketing Officer/Co-Founder

Kids Love Travel - On the Cheap

Does your family have Cabin Fever but your budget is slim? With little money left over for fun, it makes sense to maximize your travel dollars. From experience, I've learned how to create a family vacation getaway on a small budget even if every family member has drastically different interests.

Planning such a vacation can be challenging, but it can be done with the help of a guidebook and your family's input. The first thing you want to do is to create a budget for your vacation. Hold a family meeting and get input. Each month I'll share one tip to help you put together a trip that they will all enjoy on a tight budget:

1. Simplify your lodgings. Either join a rewards club or, if you can, plan to visit areas of the country where you can stay with friends or relatives. Another option- vacation homes and campgrounds using a grill or fully equipped kitchen and washer/dryer facility yourself saves money.

2. Go with a group of friends or family. Arrange for group meals, dividing the cooking and cleaning between families.

3. If you're going to a theme or water park stay in condo rooms on the property most have a minimum of a mini micro/frig unit to keep/reheat leftovers or frozen entrees. Of course, the best way to save on hotels is to not use them.

4. Plan day trips to sights and attractions within driving distance instead.Kids grow up fast. Enjoy time with them (inexpensively) while they're young.

Remember, this year may offer the best travel deals ever! © 2009 Michele ZavatskyWant more ideas about how to plan your next family trip - and, maybe learn some tricks on how to get the most value.

Michele Z, the Family Travel Mom, has done 10,000 hours of research and personal testing already so you don?t have to. You can find more than 6000 places and events included in her KIDS LOVE TRAVEL GUIDEBOOKS - Family Travel Guides to Exploring ?Kid-Tested? Places! Visit www.KidsLoveTravel.com and let YOUR next family adventure begin!

Introducing Mary Halter of Healthy EduDynamics

My name is Mary Halter and I am a Health Educator with the title Prevention Education Consultant/Trainer. In a nutshell that means, I develop, implement, and train other adults, parents and educators, to talk with kids ages 5 -18 (age appropriately) about respecting their bodies and the bodies of others. Adolescents called ?Tweens? are the target audience for a newly released puberty DVD program, called A Time To Talk, and a soon-to be released book, 101 Questions Kids Really Ask?and the answers they need to know.

I have been working in the field of youth development for over 25 years and health education specifically for 18 years, focusing primarily on healthy relationships and futures related to the topics of sexuality as well as tobacco, alcohol and other drugs. I am passionate about my work and equally passionate about the importance of my work. I invite you to visit my website at www.pubertyDVD.com or www.healthyedudynamics.com to check out my company, HEALTHY edudynamics (HED) and visit my personal blog.

HED has geo-targeted Columbus as the first city outside of Arizona to introduce A Time To Talk. We are currently talking with several school districts in the Columbus area about implementation and are planning a book launch in Columbus as well this spring.

HED is honored to be an affiliate of KidsLinked and I am personally excited to be a guest blogger. I look forward to bringing topics of interest and value to the parents and families utilizing KidsLinked website?s fabulous offerings.Mary HalterPresident/CEOHEALTHY edudynamicsMary H. Halter has worked in the field of youth development for over 25 years. She developed A Time To Talk curriculum with both a school and parent component. Her straight forward, no-nonsense approach is refreshing and informative. You can learn more about Mary by visiting http://healthyedudynamics.com.

Nudged ... no wait, shoved into the world of blogging

Kudos to those of you who finally talked me into this. Here's the twitter version of my life (in 140 characters or less for those of you who are still resisting the cult). 30yr single mom of 12yr old son, CMO of KidsLinked.com, tenacious, zealous, self-employed, overworked, big heart, driven to succeed at life Well, thats how I would describe myself anyways. From here on out be prepared to hear about past experiences that have led to dramatic eye awakening ah-ha moments, influential people I have met, lessons I have learned, rules that I have chosen to follow and rules that I have chosen to break.

My overall mission is to make my life (whether its the now or what was) be a lesson. Mainly to myself but I also want to be an example to others such as my son, friends, parents, partners, employees, colleagues, enemies and strangers. One of the main things I tell my son is, "there's nothing wrong with making a mistake but there is something wrong with making the same mistake twice." Life is all about lessons. We are all going to make mistakes but its up to us to choose to learn from those mistakes and make ourselves better.