Regardless of when your child navigates the journey of puberty, the #1 concern they will experience is "AM I NORMAL?" If I could infuse one valuable piece of advice in any parent, it would be to reinforce over, and over, and over to your child that when and whatever happens in his or her body is "just right for you … you are special and unique and the only person like you in the whole world and you will grow and develop in a way that's just right for you!"
That being said, it is not enough to just say that over and over and over, especially if your child falls on either end of the spectrum. As the early bloomer or the late bloomer, the challenges will be greater… the further out on the spectrum… the greater the challenges.
Emotional and social changes of early and late bloomers may compound the feelings of isolation. Finding activities that match their physical development will also help them find friends "who are going through the same things and can relate with their feelings."
Physical Activities
All young children should be encouraged to do a variety of activities and most children, males and females are comfortable doing most activities. As children enter puberty and bodies begin growing and changing (or not changing) rapidly, it is important to help your child find activities that match his/her physical and emotional development. Remember, leisure activities should be fun. Even if a child excelled in an activity as a 5-6 year old, the body may betray them during puberty.
Gymnastics, skating, diving, synchronized swimming are great sports for late blooming girls. These are examples of sports that small, lean bodies excel in. Volleyball and basketball would be examples of sports early bloomers might excel in. Soccer, softball, tennis, swimming, golf, bicycling, skiing could be examples for everyone regardless of their size.
The same is true of boys. The late blooming male is not necessarily going to be comfortable on the football field or basketball court if he is always the smallest or shortest. Of course, there are always exceptions to every rule.
If your child has an atypical body size or shape for a particular activity, try to help him/her set realistic expectations without discouraging their goals. For every very short young male basketball player, I always want to point out that Calvin Murphy (and a few others) succeeded.
Other Activities
As their bodies may make some of their cherished physical activities more difficult, help them find other activities where a changing body does not play a role: arts, music, writing, photography, and a multitude of hobbies.
Role Models
If your son or daughter is obviously going to end up either end of the growth spectrum, find successful role models that match their stature. Your child expects you to tell them they are terrific and always will be, but for the unusually tall or early blooming female or the very short or late blooming male, seeing someone they admire that mirrors their journey can be a great comfort.
Media Images
Media images do not help anyone going through puberty but especially those who don’t fit the “narrow norm”. The good news is that this unrealistic norm makes it easier to point out to every child that the world is full of all different sizes and shapes and very few (almost no one) fits the perfect picture the media paints. Help your child learn to focus on the positive strengths and assets they possess and try to minimize the focus on physical appearance – a difficult task in this day and age but one well worth the effort we expend to guide our children through puberty with a healthy self-concept!
Mary Halter
President/CEO
HEALTHY edudynamics
Mary H. Halter has worked in the field of youth development for over 25 years. She developed A Time To Talk curriculum with both a school and parent component. Her straight forward, no-nonsense approach is refreshing and informative. You can learn more about Mary by visiting http://healthyedudynamics.com.
KidsLinked hosted its first ever Benefit Night at Noodles & Company in Gahanna, Ohio to assist the New Albany Lacrosse Association raise funds. Though many do not know it many restaurants have programs to help their local communities in which they give back a percentage of sales on a designated night to any organization that signs up to host a "benefit night." Some of these restaurants are Hoggy's, Max & Ermas and Noodles & Company. The range that is given back is anywhere from 15% to 25% and most restaurants provide marketing support such as banners, flyers and posters.
